Monday, February 16, 2009

Monday Mom-blings

Chores.

I have mine. Kenny has his. The kids have theirs. Everyone does their job. The home runs smoothly. Everyone is happy. Isn't that how it's suppose to work???

At our house, it's like pulling teeth to get the kids to do their chores. I'm sure that's not very different from every home in America, but I wonder how you balance the whole work/responsibility thing with the "they're kids, let them have fun" thing. Ive read a ton of the parenting books, but what works in theory is a lot different from what works in reality. I've come to the conclusion that either I'm a really mean mom (this is what my kids would vote for) or else I just expect to much from my kids.

Here's the deal, my kids have both daily chores and weekly chores. Daily chores include straightening up their bedrooms and doing a quick clean of one of the rooms in the house (ie. pick up towels in the bathroom, put away toys/blankets/whatever in the living room, do the dishes and sweep the floor.) Weekly jobs include doing a deep clean of the bedroom and one of the rooms in the house (bathroom, living room, kitchen.) Literally all their work could be done in less than 30 minutes. Add on homework for 30 minutes after school and the kids could be out the door, playing with their friends an hour after they're home from school. Weekly jobs take a little longer...maybe 30 - 45 min. each (just to ensure that a good job is done.) This is how it's supposed to be. This is how it really is...On a daily basis, the kids come home from school, mess around for however long they can get away with it, pretend to do their jobs for as long as think it should take them, do the minimal requirements of their homework and ask to go play with friends. Now, I'm not dumb...it just takes one look at the various rooms of the house to know that nothing was done, so I then get upset and make them do it again. Of course by the time everything is REALLY done, the time frame to go out and play with friends is also done and that's when the weeping,wailing, and gnashing of teeth starts. Saturday is pretty much the same...just on a grander scale. The thing is...with minimal effort, I could do all of their jobs while they're at school...and I do occasionally, but I've found that if I do their work for them, instead of being appreciative of a nice act performed on their behalf, they come to expect that it should be done for them or they think that it's my job anyhow so it's not a big deal. Plus they're not learning any of those important life lessons that are learned just by having to do chores (ie. families that work together, stay together sort of thing, work ethic, responsibility, consequences, etc.) There is a delicate balance. As a mom it's my job to teach them how to work, be responsible and prepare them for life, so quite often I have to take the tough stand, but I also want them to have the opportunity to be kids and have fun.

So...what happens at your house? How do you get your kids to do their chores? How do you balance responsibility and fun and how do you stay happy and sane amidst it all? Do tell.....

3 comments:

Unknown said...

You bribe them of course! The boys have two chores they have to do every day. They get a sticker for each chore they do. If, by the end of the week they have 10 stickers they get to play lego star wars on Friday and Saturday. Surprisingly, it's worked like a charm for an entire month! Who knows what will happen when Lego Star wars loses its appeal?

Unknown said...

That comment was left by Denice by the way... not steve

Melissa said...

I agree that it is such a struggle every day to get the kids to do their chores and do them right. I've definitely had to lower my neurotic standards on what exactly constitutes "clean," but I do also have to say that my kids learning how to vacuum, do dishes, do laundry, clean bathrooms, and empty the garbage has been one of the most liberating experiences of my life! It is so nice to have them helping out and actually being able to do an okay job.

I must be the mean mom around because my kids have to get their chores done before they go to school. They've been late a few times, and they absolute HATE it, so that works well.

The Wii has helped a lot too, especially on Saturdays. If they get their jobs done in an hour (which I could do in 15 minutes flat), then they get to play the Wii that day. If not, then too bad for the rest of the day. I know what you mean, it is hard to balance and I don't want to be mean. It is just so important that they know how to work. Someday they'll thank us, right?

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